Skip to main content

Big changes

 So most of you probably know that Tony and I have separated and divorce is on the horizon. Not something that I saw coming but God did. Not how I thought my life story would play out but God knew. Tony and I have remained friends. When our marriage was good for a lot of years, it was really good. We have a beautiful daughter together. Neither one of us has it in us to be ugly or mean. It just isn’t our nature. So, friends it is. I wish him nothing but the best in his life. But, how did I really get to the point where I could say that? One word…Jesus.

In the beginning I was very hurt. I was lost. 29 years is a long time to be married to someone and then not be married. To say it knocked the wind out of my sails is a gross understatement and it took me a bit to come to my senses. After the hurt came the anger. It’s not fair, stupid jerk, I hate him…all those things played over and over again in my mind. There was also embarrassment, a feeling of loss, grief if you will. This lasted for a few months. During this time I prayed that Tony would come back. As mad as I was I wanted it all back.

Then came Christmas break. Fun, right? Nope. Not this year. I was alone a lot of that time. I chose to be. I had to process. It was a dark time for me. In less than three years time I had lost my dad, had my only child fly from my nest (she doesn’t live with me anymore), I changed jobs and grade levels and will change jobs yet again this year ( even though I didn’t know that last Christmas). It was too much. The walls came crashing down. I didn’t let anyone close to me know about all this. I chose not to talk to anyone. Except for One….Jesus.

I told Him how I felt. I really wanted Him to justify my feelings. I wanted to hear Him say,”you have every right to feel this way! “He is wrong. You are right!” But He didn’t. You know what He told me? The same thing he told me 13 years ago in a similar situation, “but I forgave you.”

That is when my paradigm shifted. I remembered something one of my best friends told me. You can be bitter or you can be better. God helped me choose to be better. Not self righteous, taking no ownership in my part of our failed marriage. I will always have regrets and wonder what I could have done to save our marriage. But I’m better. 

There are so many ways God has taken care of me in the last 15 months. So many ways!!! I’m going to use this blog to tell people about them. At anytime while you read this if you want to know more about God and how to have a relationship with Him please don’t hesitate to message me. I would be happy to sit down with you and tell you my whole story and how the love of Jesus has made me a different person, a better person.

Love,

Kelli ❤️

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Been a minute….

 I am dedicating this post to my mama. Not only do I want to tell you ‘bout my Jesus, I want to tell you ‘bout my mama.  When I say that I wouldn’t have made it this last year without her. I am in no way exaggerating. In three years I lost my dad, lost my marriage, had my one and only precious daughter fly from the nest, switched grade levels and now I’m switching jobs. In my world, I had a lot on my plate. I have many friends that kept me going! S,A, N,M,L and L - you know who you are. But friends, there is nothing like your mama. I don’t for one second want to take her for granted. She keeps me grounded. She drives me nuts with her “you need to’s” ( don’t all mamas do that? She makes me laugh. She is a goof! I think she got that from my dad. No way she could have been married to him without his goofiness rubbing off. We all got it. Lol. She talks sense in to me and tells me to be nice to people I really don’t want to be nice to.   I want to be exactly like her when I gr...
Post a Comment
Read more

God Loves Me and You so much!!!

Before I write about one of the things God did for me, I want to share a verse with you. Ephesians 3:17-19 “May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love;   and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.” -The Living Bible Everyday God shows me that He loves me. He wants us to come to Him with even the tiniest things. I know that as a mother, I want Maddy to come to me with everything that is on her heart. I don’t care how silly it may be. I want to know her. And be there for her in every single aspect of her life. God is the same. He wants us to trust Him to come with all the tiny details in our lives. Things that give us anxiety and make us worry. Things that give us joy. And things t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Just so grateful for…

 my life. I realize now the truth in every good and perfect thing comes from above.  If you would have asked me five years ago what I thought of divorce and if I’d ever go through it, my answer would have been I know God hates it and NO. I’d never go through a divorce. Funny what happens when you tell God YOUR plans.  But here I am. And you know what? I’m good. I’m more than good. I’m so gosh darn happy! I didn’t know I wasn’t happy and while I would have chosen to put the work into my marriage and try to make it better it didn’t happen. So again, here I am striving every day to be in the will of God and make Him proud of me. I couldn’t have done any of this in the past year and a half without Him.  Yesterday I went to the opening meeting for Online Catawba. It was amazing!! I felt like I walked into a little family. They were all so welcoming. My 3-5 pod is great! This is just another way this year that God has blessed me! I also get to stay at Lyle Creek and teach ...
Post a Comment
Read more